Married and Still Masturbating!

Queen Ama's Intellectual Debate

Is It Possible for a Man to Keep Masturbating Even When Married?

Commentator 1

Tony

Very possible!!

January 8 at 9:33pm

Moderator
 
Ama

Why would he masturbate when married? He has a wife.

January 8 at 9:35pm

Commentator 2
 
Tony

Perhaps, you need to go beyond the dictionary
definition of masturbation to discuss with somebody who has once engaged in the act. Masturbation sometimes, comes as a life saver. I condem it though, but the animalistic tendencies in man will always bring about masturbation especially in young adults. This challenge can be solved by consciously guiding our thoughts and it takes a while
January 8 at 9:43pm 

Commentator 3

Basil

Probably if his wife cannot satisfy him enough
January 8 at 9:47pm · Like


Commentator 2
 
Tony

‎@Basil, u have a point though, but it is not necessarily so. once a man is caught by the virus - i mean masturbation, no matter how the wife satisfies him, he will masturbate in her absence. This is perhaps, the mystery behind masturbation that only a few can explain....
January 8 at 9:53pm · Like · 1 person

Moderator

Ama

Tony spot on. Basil go
to http://queenamafoodforthought.blogspot.com/2011/01/masturbation-on-increase.html
January 9 at 3:58am 

Commentator 4
 
Chris Ben

Masturbation is not a bad thing as religious books paint it to be. I always say that if you are not an expert in a field of science steer clear from making judgments in it.Fact 1 - In 2009, the UK Government joined the Netherlands and other European nations in encouraging teens to masturbate at least daily. An orgasm was defined as a right in its health pamphlet. The obvious reasons being that it reduces teen pregnancy and STIs (STDs), and to promote healthy habits. 1950s studies on US population have shown that 92% of men and 62% of women have masturbated during their lifespan, in the UK It was found that, between individuals aged 16 to 44, 95% of men and 71% of women masturbated at some point in their lives. 73% of men and 37% of women reported masturbating in the four weeks before their interview, while 53% of men and 18% of women reported masturbating in the previous seven days. These numbers speak for themselves, no matter how much you want to see it as bad it is part of the human nature. Let’s not even go into the health benefits. Masturbation can also be particularly useful in relationships where one partner wants more sex than the other – in which case masturbation provides a balancing effect and thus a more harmonious relationship like the case above, it has been there since time memorial and will always be there.
January 10 at 7:51pm · 

Commentator 5

Augustine

I don’t think it’s possible for a man to masturbate while married. Exceptions exist though and few assumptions come to the fore. Is the wife deformed, does she have any challenges satisfying the man? Is the man bound to the habit before marriage? These are some questions needed to be addressed.
January 12 at 2:39pm 

Commentator 4
 
Chris Ben ‎

@Augustine, that is a pretty narrow way to look at the issue, I made some valid summations above. We all have different libidos and as such look for ways to attend to it. It is very sad how some of these things have been demonized.
January 12 at 8:45pm ·

Moderator

Ama Kachikwu

Where is self-control and restraint in all of this? Now because I love cars and I cannot afford a Bentley do I steal to satisfy my urge for Bentley? Do I borrow my neighbour's Bentley just to make myself happy? Too much of everything is bad; sex should also be in moderation.
Saturday at 10:19pm ·


Commentator 6

Sandra

@ Ben... are you a medical doctor or in the field of medicine
9 hours ago ·

Commentator 6

Sandra

@ Ama... nice and bold gutsy topic... hmmmm
9 hours ago · 

Commentator 4

 
Chris Ben

‎@Ama your analogy is quite crude and does not model the issue at hand quite well. Is masturbation a bad thing? I think we should start from there. I have constantly harped on this as being one of those issues that are demonized for the sake of it regardless of whatever benefits it might have. This is issue really has little to do with moderation; it is a way to let of steam for some if not most people. What do you want an individual working say in a bbc meteorological station situated in the North pole to do? He is there for years without his wife and is performing duties that keep the meteorology world afloat. Are you going to say he should not at least satisfy himself sexually? He should turn of his hormones? I admit that it is not impossible to do but it would be quite harsh for you not to consider that just like we all have different libidos we possess different will power and if this is something that would help the man function then he should be allowed to have at it without feeling guilty. Furthermore countless teens engage in it rather than expose themselves to the teeming population of STD's we have there. I am an advocate that abstinence does not work and that is the painful truth no one wants to believe. People have sex every day, everyday teens, young adults, adults everyone does it. Let us campaign instead on ways to make it safe.
3 hours ago · Like · 1 person

Moderator

Ama

Ben I totally disagree with you and most times the call for discipline and control may seem rather crude but in fact is the solution. You obviously belong to the growing school of thought who believes that masturbation is not just harmless but actually healthy. Even in some Christian circles, it is said that since it involves no other person it cannot be harmful. Nothing could be further from the truth. The fuel for masturbation is the image of the person's object of desire. A person cannot masturbate without the aid of a spirit of lust. This spirit usually does not act alone; it often brings other negative spirits. For example pornography is often accompanied by masturbation. It is instructive that most people who masturbate admit to feeling "dirty" after the act. Some also admit to a feeling of shame and guilt. These are certainly not the feelings associated with a "wholesome act". The act of masturbation constitutes worship to the spirits of sexual immorality that instigated it. These spirits eventually enslave and dominate the person engaging in the act. This is the sole reason why people who engage in this practice and art find it so difficult to get out from enslavement. Hence the decision to start new school of thought masturbation is not just "harmless but actually healthy". Children who engage in masturbation find it easier to have the real sex without looking back. Adults who engage in masturbation even when married are more likely to cheat on their spouse on a regular basis. "A SEXUAL ADDICT IS A PERSON WHO IS ENSLAVED TO COMPULSIVE SEXUAL BEHAVIOUR". It does not matter whether it is fornication, masturbation, pornography or whether the person is an exhibitionist, a voyeur or an adulterer. His soul has been ensnared in a web of sexual immorality. What may have started out as "harmless fun" has now become a bondage. Such a person will get a "high" from the sexual activity in much the same way an alcoholic would from alcohol or a drug addict from drugs. In a perverse way, he gets a buzz from doing something he knows he shouldn't. I will end this by saying " stolen waters (pleasures) are sweet (because they are forbidden); and bread eaten in secret is pleasant." Proverbs 9:17 a=AMP.The solution! What can I do to get rid of sexually immoral thoughts and images that plague one?
2 hours ago · 

Commentator 7
 
Lawrence Eli O Vannilla

my only point is don’t be a judge leave people to their habits stop condemning if it isn’t good for u just stop it might just be another’s saviour from disease death and many shit it cud eve save the marriage from infidelity even pornstars who have maxi sex also masturbate.
2 hours ago · Like · 1 person

Commentator 4

Chris Ben

Ama, permit me to digress a bit before I come back to the crux of the issue at hand here. I am of the opinion that this group stands for people who are intellectually independent enough to deal with issues as they affect us today. The group should create an avenue where people regardless of race or religious affiliations would be able to relate to the issues being discussed without prejudice, there are many people reading this even if they do not have the nerve to comment for fear of being judged as bad people. That said let us go back to the issue at hand; we have to separate morality from 'biblical" morality. If you were to explain to a young Hindu boy how would you tell him that what he is doing is wrong? Even from a Christian point of view your claim that a person cannot masturbate without the spirit of lust is at best specious and lacks the insight an advisory on such issues should have. If we go back to the analogy of the man in the North pole what stops the man from masturbating with the thoughts of the love of his life which happens to be his wife? Would that be a sin too? huh? Only people who have heard sermons from people like you all their lives that doing it is bad feel guilty after masturbating, people feel bad when they do things that are not in line with the things the "profess" to believe, this does not make it true in any way. Quite ostensibly you have also made claims about children having sex and adults cheating if they masturbate, do you have any evidence to support your claims? or is it just how you feel? Logic would point that a person averse to sorting out hormonal issues by masturbating would find it less interesting to waste time and resources chasing skirts to satisfy that same need. My dear let us deal with issues in a way that it would help everyone, this idea of wishing away issues would not help us at all. Take eastern and southern Africa for instance which have the highest population of Catholics in the continent, they have been refused the use of condoms because the church believes it interferes with the process of pro creation, they have the highest cases of HIV/AIDS in Africa. Why? Because no matter how much you thump the bible people would still have sex and if they do not do it in a safe way then you leave them to the mercy of these viruses "who" not surprisingly do not know what the book of proverbs says. They would just destroy their hosts’ body and that my dear AMA is the FACT of this issue at hand.
about an hour ago · Like ·  1 person

Commentator 8

Roseline Ekune

Ama if i may ask you from which point of view are we talking about??? Are u talking about masturbation generally or only from the religious point of view?? Then maybe you should restate the question about masturbation, have you noticed that even pastors hardly preach on masturbation, why do you think so???
about an hour ago ·

Commentator 6

Sandra

‎@ Roseline... it is great that you talk about clarifying Ama's position as whether from a religious standpoint, I am pastor and we do preach about all types of things and perhaps if we addressed it more then there will be little confusion about the topic. Most of the times pastors either preach from inspiration or from social ills depending where they are and what they consider important. While I am pastor and believe in abstinence I also am realistic that everyone will not practice so I say be safe and use protection... some may disagree with me, but I am here for people to live another than to die and go to hell. A dead man cannot repent...
about an hour ago · Like · 1 person

Moderator

Ama

Ben this is an open debate and everyone is free to comment. It is not an avenue to judge others but a place where hot matters are tested and analysed. Thankfully I have been on both sides of the coin and understand masturbation is not really the way to go. However if you still believe it helps you being a strong advocate then continue in the practice of masturbation. However, I find anything which you can't control overtime enslaves you and becomes an enemy. Coming back to hiv/aids in Africa doctors warn that it is better to abstain. You can catch hiv/aids from oral sex and other techniques within sex. Abstinence, self-control and restraint is the way forward. There is nothing religious about this. You cannot play your way around HIV/AIDS and not even masturbation can help here. Again abstaining is the way forward, control and doing things in moderation.
about an hour ago · 

Moderator

Ama

@Roseline this is a general topic on masturbation. Therefore if anyone has a viewpoint they should bring it to Queen Ama's food for thought to be tested clearly by experts in various fields for it to be accepted.
about an hour ago · 

 
Chris Ben

Like Roseline pointed out let us know if this is a religious discussion or a secular one then we know what ship to board as regards the answers we bring forth. I have been on both sides of the coin to and my saying masturbation is the way to go does not make it true. My point is if one can stand it and it does not harm any other person then we have to allow the person be. Our sexuality would always be part of us it is criminal to tell anyone to turn of their hormones so they would not become slaves to it. As for the issue of abstinence lets not even go there, here are some facts for you to digest according to a 2000 report by the National Institutes of Health (NIH), correct and consistent use of latex condoms reduces the risk of HIV/AIDS transmission by approximately 85% relative to risk when unprotected, putting the seroconversion rate (infection rate) at 0.9 per 100 person-years. Analysis published in 2007 from the University of Texas Medical Branch and the World Health Organization found similar risk reductions of 80–95%. Africa is inhabited by just over 14.7% of the world's population; it is estimated to have more than 88% of people living with HIV and 92% of all AIDS deaths in 2007! Those are human beings AMA even up to children born into this world with the disease from no fault of theirs and you still think we should be preaching abstinence? Southern Africa has the worst adult prevalence in the whole of Africa and they have been preaching abstinence, I am at a loss here.....what result does one get from trying the same approach over and over again?
about an hour ago · Like · 1 person 

Moderator

Ama


‎@ Ben that is the problem people who out of lack of self-control and restrain would ignore a solution preventing millions from dying. Hiv/Aids did not start with millions of people getting infected. it started with just one person and has spread like wild fire. Probably if that one man kept to himself practising masturbation I would agree with you masturbation is good. However, HIV/AIDS is not the topic of debate. Is it possible for a Man to keep masturbating even when married? Why would a Man masturbate when he has a wife? It is not a religious topic even-though one could get religious solutions to answer such questions.
about an hour ago · 

Commentator 4

 

Chris Ben

Many thanks for clarifying things Ama, the answers are out there for anyone to choose from. Married men and women alike masturbate. The reasons are obvious; there is nothing remotely spiritual about it. It’s just hormones doing their thing.
about an hour ago 

Moderator

 

Ama

‎@ Ben funny enough there are other activities people can engage in giving them the same satisfaction as masturbation when a partner is not there to assist them. You can try plummeting 130ft or sky diving that can also help. The feeling you get is wonderful. Although nothing still compares to couples enshrining their love in the form of love-making or copulation but not one masturbating and thinking of other sex scenes with another woman whom he eventually goes out to cheat with. I have heard of cases where husband and wife in the act of love making call another woman or man's name just at the point of climax. You ask the man or woman later and he/she denies saying it was just a name I used to call when masturbating because you were not in town and away in the BBC meteorological station situated in the North pole.
51 minutes ago

Commentator 4

 

Chris Ben

ROTFLMAO that was actually funny, but hold your horses for a bit, how would a man living in the slums of India get the resources to take bus ride for himself not to talk of sky diving? We must try to keep our suggestions grounded and modest enough for every tobe, dike and Cecelia out there. Ama people think of other sex scenes when having sex with other people even if they do not masturbate, some men need these images in their heads so they do not cheat on their wives. Masturbating is joy to the many millions in the world who are cut of from their loved ones, they find solace in knowing that they have kept their bodies physically at least for the one they love. You have to try and open your mind here, some people cannot just do without sex for a long time and that does not make them weaker people. It’s just who they are
43 minutes ago ·

Commentator 4

 

Chris Ben

From a general point of view ama is masturbation a bad thing? Tell us why?
42 minutes ago

Moderator

Ama

Ben I would not encourage the idea people cannot do without sex for a long time. That is a very flimsy excuse. Who cannot do without sex? Who does not love sex? Christian sisters you see in church are more sensual than most people who think they cannot do without sex. The lack of self-control and mind control cannot be over emphasized here. I need a doctor to clarify this point that hormonal differences in Men make them masturbate when married and think of other sex scenes which later becomes a thing of reality as oppose to an initial idea. I tell you something self-control and restrain are the hardest virtues to practice but once you start with the grace of GOD you laugh at your past understanding those frivolous behaviour were just not necessary. Ben I have nothing to add at this point other than stick to my claims that masturbation is not the way to go and an unwholesome practice which people are not very comfortable coming out in the open to agree they practice it and enjoy it.
28 minutes ago.

Commentator 4

 

Chris Ben

I was about to quit myself, the merry go round is making me feel woozy already. People are not comfortable admitting it because they feel it’s a taboo that is a no brainer. Like you said leave the job to a doctor, you have not been able to tell us why it is an unwholesome practice from the general point of view and that is what I asked you. To state categorically what is wrong with masturbating, your claim that people who masturbate go on to cheat does not wash at all.
22 minutes ago ·

Moderator

 

Ama

Ben read all my comments and you will understand why I still stick with Masturbation not being good for anyone. When you have read it and have any more questions let me know or you can email me on my personal email box on ama.kachikwu@giamediaservciesltd.com.

At this junction, I did like to say this has been a hot and spicy debate on Queen Ama;s Food for thought but not without Ben, Tony, Roseline and Sandra who have made it worthwhile. Thank you so much for your immense contributions and adding the right ingredients. If you are  a medical doctor please email us as your expertise would be required to further understand why Men masturbate thinking of a sex scene; which later becomes a thing of reality with 2 people involved this time as oppose to an initial 1 minute fun or idea done solely.
11 minutes ago · 

Married and still masturbating Copyright © 2009 Ama Kachikwu
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