How do you handle your sister's husband who secretly wants you in bed? Is it proper to inform your sister or act like nothing is going on?
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| Queen Ama's Debate |
Consider me to be a woman, i will discuss it with my sister knowing full well that it will cause a lot of issues.Reason being that if i fail to do that , he might go ahead and report me that i want to sleep with him. No body will believe me when i said the truth at that time. Things happen in this clime.On the other hand, if i fail to discuss with my sister , I will confide in somebody in the family to ensure that when the matter erupts at any level, i will have a witness.
Saturday at 11:45am ·
Ama sha! Where do these topics come from? You should be preparing your own tv show oh!
Saturday at 12:06pm ·
Chris Ben, I agree with you, she has practically turn me into an online person. If it is her dream, she will go places, the traits are there and intellectual content to drive the debate and contributions are also available from all of us on her friends list, regards.
Saturday at 12:13pm ·
Very touchy subject and requires a lot of prayer and wisdom. My sister and I have totally different taste. I would pray for God to expose him or her (women could do the same thing) with someone else and when my sister is crying her heart out, I might or might not chose to tell her. Cannot foresee this happening unless the sisters are in competition. Normally when a guy thinks that he can play two sisters it is because there is some strong sibling rivalry between them. Deal with sisterly issues and her husband chasing her other sibling will not become an issue. The husband sees a weakness or crack in the family and wants to take advantage...
Saturday at 3:10pm ·
I'm a guy and if it's a woman...that's hard 2 define-temptation!.If it so happens,it's still hard 4 me 2 define 'cos I've not experience such b4...I just need 2 be strong.
Saturday at 5:53pm ·
Its very realistic. Sometimes I wonder d stuff men r made off.well if I find myself in such shoes,firstly,if i v an alternative,i ll leave d house,so dat I dnt bring prob to d home. Secondarily,i ll try create a scenario of such happening in another home and discuss wit my sist,how she reacts ll determine if I ll tell her or not. Discussing with members of my immediate home, on d issue,in her absence ll also do.i ll v to do a personal check on myself to find out if there's smth I do dt draws d man's attention;maybe d way I dress or prepare his meal.in all,one must seek d face of God,so dat u dnt end up bringing probs to ur sists home
Saturday at 7:30pm ·
I agree we need daily prayer and reflection in every thing we do otherwise, we might end up in temptation without being conscious of it
Saturday at 7:32pm ·
Might not have the courage to tell my sister but will surely tell a close member of my family incase he decides to tell my sister...
Saturday at 7:38pm ·
is ur man that set all of us on" intellectual" fire back?
Saturday at 7:39pm ·
What exactly would prayer achieve?
Saturday at 7:43pm ·
Guys this kind of thing happens a lot...am a living testimony of that,I used to stay th an aunt and her husband was something else,he wanted me to sleep with him,he wuld not let me be,wenever she was not around he wuld want to force hos way...I culd not bear it any longer so I had to call my granny and told her abt it,I culd not tell my aunt cos she sees dis her husband as d best man ever,she keeps saying her husband can not cheat on her and bla bla bla...I became a rude girl in d house cos of him,den finally I left her house cos I could not cope any longer...@ama thanks for all dis topic cos am really learning a lot...may God help us all
Saturday at 7:45pm ·
Ben, prayer in clear terms, is a petition to the ALMIGHTY for assistance, guidance and direction on certian issues, development and decision. Prayer is necceasary when life and circumstances around you throw up challenges that confronts your personal being and tasks you to your limit. We are human. On a personal level, i strongly believe in personal communication with my creator through prayer and reflection on things i do, say or think.Effective prayer guides and open avenues to address challenges that are beyond your control .We live in terrible times and things happen that creates doubts in us the more. In this instance, prayer will direct you assuming you are weak and you can also prayer for the man in question for strenght to overcome the mis-directed sexual urge in him. But if you are strong willed and can take objective decision , certainly you dont need prayer in this regard. I hope this clarifies? cheers
Saturday at 7:56pm ·
Nopes it clarifies nothing at least to me, kindly elucidate further because I am at a loss. How does prayer guide and open avenues? Are you saying prayer would make her not fall for the man? Exactly how does one end up in temptation without knowing it?
Saturday at 9:05pm ·
@ Sandra I totally agree with you. @ Chris the only way you can stand on your feet is if you are constantly on your knees. The importance of prayer and liaising with your source cannot be ignored. Temptations can only be conquered if we get the help of GOD. If you are deeply spiritual you will be warned before hand. In all of this I am happy nobody is saying the sister must be promiscuous that is why the man is chasing her. Sandra is dead right, sister rivalry cannot be overlooked in this regard. It is like the devil, once he sees you are not united with your maker that is a good loop hole for him.. If 2 sisters are truly united and the married sister does not speak negatively about her own sister, the husband would dare not thread on that territory. He understands he would loose out. I often laugh at women who say negative things about their friends to their husband, you are only saying to Ur Man she is quite easy give a go at it! Most times they do try!
Saturday at 10:44pm · Like · 
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I can understand what Sandra said about sister rivalry, but I cannot understand why most people say pray pray pray, if those prayers work this world would not be like this.
Saturday at 11:20pm ·
Ben please read this.http://queenamafoodforthought.blogspot.com/2010/11/it-is-not-end-yet.html.
Saturday at 11:36pm ·
LOL Ama ok lets not derail this topic. Someday we will discuss this. Someday.
Sunday at 12:31am ·
'Be not anxious for anything but by prayer and petition make your requests known unto God and the peace of God which passes all undrstanding will keep ur hearts and mind through Christ Jesus'. Phil. 4;6,7. U establish fellowship with God that strengthens, calms and empowers you to face life's challenges when u pray. U just need to xperience it urself . That can only be a better proof for u.
Sunday at 3:22am ·
Ben, please read my comment specifically on prayers again, if you dont agree with it.please leave it out.I am not writing to convince anybody on any topic, i write to clarify and contribute on some topical issue. i hope this clarifies regards\
Sunday at 9:14am ·
It would be appropriate to speak with your sister about this problem. However, It is written what GOD has put together let no man put asunder. Your sister may turnaround and attack you, saying " you are trying to break her home". However, it may just do one good to pack your bag and leave immediately. One needs to flee once confronted with that deep situation. I do not see the need for confrontation. A sister who probably gives a good impression about her husband would fight you. How can she accept the fact, her husband wants another woman who happens to be her sister, deep down she knows her sister has not made up a false story but she needs to protect her marriage. Assuming the one being chased chose to have a taste of the forbidden pie it could go in her favour landing her a husband who belongs to her sister. It has happened in the past and still happening. Is it good to expose the devil before he drags you into the marketplace without clothes on and exposing your body contour?
Sunday at 4:36pm ·
A third option Ama is to pack up and leave like you mentioned above and avoid visiting them.come up with any excuse if your sis. wants you to visit.i believe as years go by,maybe his interest will wane.I do wonder why men do this.But any God Fearing man would never nurse such thought.
Sunday at 7:13pm ·
Kelechi though art very wise, totally agree with you!
Sunday at 8:56pm ·
It is a tough one. Once you pack your bag to depart and refuse to give into his licentiousness the man is going to make up so many negative things against you. Your departure leaves him with a conscience to wrestle with for the rest of his life, but that is if he has one. He may run to his wife to reveal the secret, which you decided not to unveil in the first place. He would ascribe the path of a saint to himself. Guess what, she may not see beyond the glossy surface but gets caught up in the lie.
Sunday at 11:35pm ·
@ Ama.. I do agree that running away does not solve anything.
Yesterday at 12:13am ·
How does one really resolve a problem like this one without so much conflict? Those who have been in similar situations and have success stories to share can help one here. Please let us hear from you. @ Winifred how have you managed your relationship with your aunt all this time since you left the house? How about her husband has he tried to make peace with you? How did granny resolve this issue of infidelity amongst an older aunt, big uncle and niece? How did you feel when he tried to touch you? Do you feel there is anything you did to have elicited an abominable action by an in-law who happens to be your aunt's husband? Are they still together?
Yesterday at 12:39am ·
Winifred Stow
@ama sure dey are still together,granny did not tell my aunt,only spoke to d hussy and told him that if he tries it with any other person she would let his wife know...of course he was ashamed of himself,whenever he sees me he keeps saying why don't I have a forgiven spirit probably cos I don't like them him anymore...I felt really bad though, I told him I ll rather go and sleep with a dog than sleeping with him becos he is my aunts husband so he should respect that fact...for my aunt I relate with her like nothing happens when ever I see her but I get angry when she makes comment like her husband is a good man and he can never cheat on her bla bla bla bla, sometimes I feel like just telling her so she would stop all those talks....
4 hours ago ·
Winifred you made a big success of this and congratulations. You went to the core of the matter without appearing to be confrontational. I mean granny did a good job. Winifred I must commend you because your behavior clearly shows you have respect and love for your aunt. I hope others in similar situation can learn from this one. Many get carried away and cannot control their appetite for sex and would stick around with their sibling's husband. What do you hope to achieve from a home built on a dirty foundation? You out there with your sibling's husband how do you feel? Do you have children for the man already? Let us hear from you.
3 minutes ago · Like
Well from the situation of things she is in a dilemma of sustaining her relationship with her sister and her marriage with her husband,she may not want to come to the point where she would have to choose between her husband and her sister,because definitely she may want to sustain both relationships,and moreover i can not tell which of the sisters are elder to who? why would someone want to invite problems to their doorstep??? you know you sister
Yesterday at 11:45am ·
'isnt married yet and you invite her to come and stay with you especially if she is your younger sister,why should she come and stay with the sister and the husband which may yet not have any kids and may still be a young couple,the marriage still has a young foundation and is likely to crumble at the slightest hit!if she invites the sister to come stay with her what does she expect to happen??she sees is it as a harmless approach,especially if she comes to stay for long,what is the sister coming to do at her place???why can't she stay with her parents,she can only come for short visits,this is what happens also with housemaids who are so young and fresh,fully grown men have eyes with hormones and can hardly control themselves,this only happens if the sister sees are sister's husband constantly everyday,if the sister should eventually inform her sister of her husband's advances she should just not react at all because the problem would backfire,because she caused the problem by inviting her sister in the first place,she should speak maturedly with the sister and send her packing,if she really loves her sister she would understand that her sister's marriage is much more important and needs to be secured,and the sister should not make the mistake of confronting the husband because he would deny it and the sister has no prove that her husband actually did that,neither did she see her husband herself making advances at her sister,she should just send the sister away and let sleeping dogs lie,at the end of the day everyone is happy.
Yesterday at 12:07pm ·
Wowwwwwwwwwwwww, this is an amazing topic for me and very surreal because I think there must be a lot of dysfunctional people in the world! First of all how can your spouse want to mess around with his sister-in-law? Secondly, what type ofsister is so insecure to think that her sister will come in and steal her husband? Thirdly, are we a bunch on uncontrollable animals that we cannot control our sexual urges that we have not set of boundaries, standards or norms by which well-brought up people live by? I am very concerned as I am aware that certain things do happen that I as a pastor have to sometimes deal with but at the end of the day, it proves to me that proper upbringing is everything!
Yesterday at 2:21pm ·
When it comes to trust, no one is eligible except God,so whether sister,brother,uncle,aunty,mother,father,pastor,brother in christ,sister in christ,grand children in christ everyone is capable of anything!people don't realise what they are capable of until they find themselves in such a situation where they have easily judged others....lolzzz
Yesterday at 2:27pm ·
Quite honestly I cannot imagine............ my sister's husband, isn't that like incest, sleeping with your sister... this is not a judgment call it is just a very sickening thought to meeeeeeeeeee.
Yesterday at 2:29pm ·
Yesterday at 2:32pm ·
Thank you all for your thoughtful contributions, knowledge and wisdom. I have learnt so much from everyone. Further comments and questions on this hot matter should be directed to ama@queenama.com. Well, that is it for this weekend on QueenAma'sfoodforthought. Have a wonderful and fruitful week ahead.
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Labels: "I am Secretly in Love With my Wife's Sister", "It is Called Incest".
Copyright © 2011 Ama Kachikwu
All rights reserved. No part of this program and the associated materials may be reproduced, presented, published or leveraged in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without the written consent of the author.
All rights reserved. No part of this program and the associated materials may be reproduced, presented, published or leveraged in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without the written consent of the author.
