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| What are your experiences as you look back home? |
Many miss home where they grew up
especially when far away from it. However, it calls for concern when you meet
people who have hateful, pitiable and unforgettable experiences, which can be
traced back to their mother's belief and upbringing meant to uplift and not
downgrade. When they recollect their childhood near death experiences, you wonder how they survived receiving one form of abuse from
family meant to shield them and societies meant to provide true Justice.
I met with Elizabeth Mosun,
author of “As I Look Homeward” who shared her real life experiences with me. It
brought me to the point of tears for some dark practices, which still exist.
Here, is an in-depth interview on
her Journey so far.
Queen Ama: Why the title as “I look homeward”?
Elizabeth Mosun Wine: I suffered from severe depression and ended up in a mental home due to problems I encountered socially and all the obstacles that came my way having gone through one disaster after another, which sadly can be traced back to my home in Africa growing up as a child. I had near death experiences and was downgraded by so many devastating events and obstacles in my life. Many of them you would find in my book as I trace them back home to my Mother who left me to grow with my grand-mother at a young age.
Queen Ama: You said they were five of you from your mother, but you rarely lived with your parents, but was made to reside in your grandmother’s home. Why?
Elizabeth Mosun Wine: Then as a child I did not understand what it was all about, but obeyed my parents when I was dropped off with my grand-mother. However, my other 4 siblings lived with them. I never really enjoyed the privilege of making decisions for myself. I was pushed from pillar to post, as my beloved father, mother and doting grandmother alternated in terms of who looked after me. I neither had any disability as a child nor was I the sickly type. Usually before I went to bed –almost every day at 6p.m- I made up little songs on my own. I cannot now remember the tunes, but some of the words I can recall:
I am five years old
And I was born in a town called Mopa.
I was taken to Egbe,
I was taken to Kano,
And I was taken to Mopa again.
I do not belong in Mopa.
One day I will go to where I belong,
This is with my mother and father.
Egbe was my father’s town. I carried on singing my song every day at 6p.m behind the back of our house at the dispensary. I stopped when I started going to kindergarten.
Queen Ama: I read your book; You were so sad growing up as a child into adulthood, where you dealt with heavy issues at a mature age.
Elizabeth Mosun Wine: Hmm, You are right facing numerous obstacles in reality from growing up to the point I migrated from home to London. Then, my first broken marriage at age 23 with my boy-friend who lived in Canada to another broken marriage where I now have 2 children. All sorts of things went on. My second cousin once exposed his body to me and wanted me to have sex with him, referring to me as his wife. I was six years old, and fully dressed. I didn’t respond, knowing intuitively there was something wrong about this. Nobody had ever told me about sex, or the facts of life. I did not tell my grandmother about this incident, for fear of her flogging me, and her not believing my side of the story. But it remained in my memory, all I felt was anger towards my mother for sending me to live with my grandmother and exposing me to these things at such an early age.
Queen Ama: I guess at age 6 nobody certainly should be teaching you about sex. Children should remain innocent and kept from such things as sex until they are old enough to manage their emotions. Yet, there you were being introduced gradually into what adults are discouraged not to get into until they are married.
Elizabeth Mosun Wine: Although It was very strange; I was scared to tell my grandmother what had transpired between my cousin and me.
Queen Ama: You had mentioned in the book, your granny had flogged you so hard on your thighs and applied chilli peppers on the fresh wounds. You were also poisoned and as a result, rushed to a specialist hospital. Why?
Elizabeth Mosun Wine: Laughs…. I took and ate smoked fish without asking permission. She believed I had stolen it, and so punished me severely. I still have a big scar on my thighs, which I repeatedly show to my own children. Another bad experience was when one of the patients alleged that my grandmother was always shouting at her, for no reason, and it got to the stage where this patient retaliated by punishing me. She gave me a poisoned orange cut into two halves, which I ate and became so ill that I lost consciousness. When I regained consciousness there were drips everywhere, with my nose and throat attached to tubes. My stomach had been pumped. My father had threatened to take whoever was responsible to court. My brother, Debo helped to identify the suspect, as I couldn’t remember anything myself. The suspect confessed to attempting to kill me because of my grandmother’s attitude towards her. My grandmother felt so guilty she took all the blame on herself. My father suggested I should come back to live with him and my mother. He was still very angry, and said it had never been his idea in the first place for me to live with my grandmother- It had been my mother’s. I thought that maybe, just maybe, my parents didn’t like me enough – not as they liked my sister – and that was why I lived with my grandmother and not with them.
Queen Ama: I am just wondering, if your mum was not missing you and did not see anything wrong getting educated in the village with limited exposure, as opposed to the city. Meanwhile, your other siblings lived with her in the city?
Elizabeth Mosun Wine: During the school holidays my grandmother and I went to Kaduna in the northern part of Nigeria. To visit my parents who now lived there. I can remember my father complaining about the standard of education I was getting through living with my grandmother. My overall lifestyle also concerned him. In fact there was constant argument over my welfare. My father would say to my grand-mother that he had had enough of my living with her, and that he wanted her to hand me back. He threatened to take drastic action if my grandmother refused to comply with his wishes. My mother always chose to stay quiet over the matter, which filled me with mixed emotions.
Queen Ama: What was your mum,s excuse for the negative treatment over the years?
Elizabeth Mosun Wine: I asked her since I was 5 years old were you really my mum, and why did you Isolate me with no motherly love from you? You asked me to call you sister and not mum. She alleged I gave her so much problem at birth and during pregnancy. Therefore, that hatred was also conceived and given birth alongside with me.
She admitted to me when I was growing up as a young woman, I am lucky with the number of men asking me out. She got pregnant at the age of 17 and she had limited exposure with men. It made her bitter because she really could not key into the opportunities available to young men asking her out.
When I made it known to her about young men interested in me, she would ask how did you get them to talk to you. You are very lucky, she said to me. I really did not get these opportunities.
Queen Ama: What I gather and from all indication you were a strong target from birth for hatred and destruction?
Elizabeth Mosun Wine: Laughs!!! Yes.
Queen Ama: Your book as “I look homewards” has been written in memory of your late Father, Mr Michael Abiodun and grandmother, Mrs Abigail Aborisade.
Elizabeth Mosun Wine: As a matter of fact, my mother died three years ago carrying the guilt with her. The memories she left for all five children especially me are hurtful and disgraceful. She had come to London to make confessions to me when she was struck with chronic diabetes and about to die. I remember when I was in the hospital in London, she made it clear to me they wanted to kill me.
She was crying, but yet responsible for my wilderness journey all these years. She did assist with 100pounds when I was kicked out of my house because I could not afford to pay my accommodation, here in London. I spent many years suffering from depression where I got frustrated and was tired of taking medications. My mum had told my younger sister not to tell me she belonged to a dark group. My siblings were dealt with similar issues.
At the later part of her life, she begged for forgiveness, and we became friends. I had no choice but to forgive her as a born-again Christian. However, those memories are unforgettable.
Queen Ama: Wow, Your numerous and what it would almost look like endless problems were closely linked to the Woman, who asked you to call her sister and not mum, which the placenta that nourished you for 9 months developed?
Elizabeth Mosun Wine: I just could not understand it myself as was in shock when she confessed.
Queen Ama: You went to fend for yourself in one of the most popular and expensive cities, Lagos staying with a relative to raise funds to travel abroad. What happened at a little party that took place in the house where you lived?
Elizabeth Mosun Wine: I was raped twice by my 2 cousins at the age of 18. My older and younger cousins took turns and went into me.
Queen Ama: How did you manage to ascend above all the violent and traumatic events in your life?
Elizabeth Mosun Wine: As strong as my personality is I struggled along with life with my head up. In the past nineteen years, since I have been in England, my life has changed so much. I coped with the issues of interracial marriage and the problems this also threw at me.
I thank my God for my loving, caring, generous and responsible In-laws who helped me all along through my depression and with my children. I thank my husband who did the same for me as well, which I have overcome now.
Before Elizabeth Mosun Wines' mother died she was moved from pillar to post year after year and ended up with severe depression for many years, which she has now overcome.
Elizabeth Mosun Wine immensely talented is working on her cookery book, which would be published before the end of this year.
Obstacles actually make you stronger, and not intimidating for those determined not to die undiscovered.
Welcome To Queen Ama's Food For Thought, to an in-depth interview intimately set within the reality of Queen Ama’s glamorous aspirational world of contemporary thinking, socio-cultural analysis and her infectious love of life and love. Queen Ama , will love to hear and see your views on this Interview and others. Please do write to her at ama@queenama.com or call +44 7904621143 or +1 6479928262.
