Sunday, 19 December 2010

"How to Handle Setbacks?"



















The global recession had left groups of people high and dry. Matthew who owned Rockaware where Naomi had worked was not left out. He moved into her 2-bed apartment with a family of Junior, Cindy, Lisa and Sylvia his wife. An exciting adventure created a scene with an ostentatious display of previous idolized glories by her boss. Matthew did do well as a stand-up comedian giving persuasive speeches of past accumulation of wealth. He obsessively dwelled in the past. A conversation between Naomi and Sylvia would prompt questions intermittently and disruptively from Matthew. “Where is my rolex, my porshe wristwatches and so forth”? Sylvia would turn red blushing from embarrassment. Here, goes him again! One could see her pulse rate screaming at him and extremely violent.

Matthew's goal was simply that of anyone trying to keep his face, and be seen as one who could still stand up to his responsibility as the bedrock of the family. Here, is the shift in Matthew's head, I still have money but relaxing with my family and co-worker in a shared holiday accommodation. He would walk up to Naomi showing her papers of a property worth half a million pounds he was hoping to buy. An accommodation intended for 1 week ran into the fourth week of the month. The choked apartment left Naomi feeling clogged to the neck, and so peeved by her bosses’ empty talks with no substance.

The turning point came for Naomi to get her life back and space. Her mother had just advised she was planning to visit immediately. Wow Naomi exclaimed! She relayed the information to her boss who still needed time to sort out his family. Matthew was busy building trust; referring to fixed, immovable and illiquid things, which he claimed he possessed in Beverley Hills, Los Angeles. Naomi cried out; it is not needed now as it cannot tend to immediate cash need to pay for an apartment in London.

Naomi in her secret thoughts asked; why is Matthew not doing so well with a test period requiring him to be forward looking; I sought a job with Matthew but he placed me in a similar probationary run as part of the company's policy and procedure. It would seem Matthew could not survive within the terms and conditions of the probation from a higher authority called GOD. Naomi yelled again! His probation entails not looking backwards but rather looking forward.




Queen Ama's “Food For Thought” is not far-fetched;

Sometimes in life we honestly need to stop dwelling on past idolized glories when humbled by GOD.

If only we had full sight to see the latter can only be better than the former. Therefore, stop dwelling on the former which are as gods made by one without power to assist when one needs it most.

The only way to go up is to go down first! The only way to climb the stairs is to start from the base.
I can say with so much thought and confidence. A Delay from GOD is not a Denial but rather a trial period to prepare one for bigger things created by him through one. 

    Austin Gozie and Bridget like this.





    • Taiwo   Thank's Ama. I am very very happy to receive   this kind of message. 
      Very good note Ama! I love the story-telling angle too! Thanks for sharing:-)



      Vine           Ama tnx for sharing..really food for thought



      Bridget        inspired!really



      Ralph          Nice one Ama, U r blessed!



      Thelma Idem     Word! truly said



      Adedigba       Well said! Thanks......



      Kwaku Agyeku    U are tooooo deep, Indeed God always takes you through a process.

      Labels: "How To Handle Setbacks"

Saturday, 18 December 2010

QUEEN AMA's FOOD FOR THOUGHT!: "The Lion"

QUEEN AMA's FOOD FOR THOUGHT!: "The Lion"?: "Speech produced through the ability to express thoughts and feelings by articulate sounds can either ruin or rescue depending on the level, ..."

"Why Is The Lion Not Shutting Up?"

 © Reserved
Speech produced  by the ability to express thoughts and feelings through articulate sounds can either ruin or rescue depending on the level, intonation, and resonance. This is a  calculated action expected when in a position to fix, but rather blame others in a challenging situation. It is the Lion in the real meaning with mouth widely opened ready to tear apart, and put an end to the next victims.

Diva holds her daughters’ hand Cindy who had constantly cried her eyes out; Cindy you will have to keep this child and go back to school.
© Reserved
A 16 year old catholic seminary student on a Journey to becoming a nun announces a disturbing, but the happy news she has just been put in the family way by 40 year Abdul capable of being her Father.

Cindy informed Abdul who emphatically denied responsibility for her pregnancy. I am a married man with my American woman expecting a baby anytime from now. Abdul uncontrollably sobbing, Cindy I have a whole family (2 Girls and 1 boy), and expecting another boy. Please Cindy, I do not need another baby why can one not abort this pregnancy and we can travel the world together in the future. My wife and people picked me up just when I had no food to eat and clothes to wear. How do I bring this shame upon my family?

© Reserved

Cindy so flustered had just heard for the first time Abdul is married. Tears in torrents ran down her eyes filling a bucket as she remembered the true love one thought she had experienced. Far from it; Cindy was another victim of destruction. 

I am catholic, and abortion is murder. Oh my father as  cindy cried and she remembered how she met Abdul in a splendid funeral ceremony where her father was committed to mother earth. Cindy unknowingly had just been betrothed to Abdul by her eldest brother who dined with Abdul in secret places.

The headmistress, Mrs Whoopi assumed the role of Cindy’s father who had long passed on informing all the girls Cindy was a disgrace and would not be returning back to school to corrupt the other children. Cindy is too young to have children and would probably die from Childbirth she confirmed to her friends.

Cindy returned back to school with a bouncing baby boy in her hands and her mum fully supportive. Mrs Whoopi can you ask Cindy’s classmates I did like to have a conversation with them regarding my daughter.

Cindy is a sweet girl, from a Christian home and loves GOD, but she has made a mistake. She could not have died from childbirth; here, is the handsome man smiling at you and beautiful Cindy who would be joining all soon to return to her normal routine.

Mrs Whoopi had her back to the scene as the children took turns to play with the little boy yawning by now. She silently prayed in her heart, “Dear God I need a boy and cannot wait any longer 10 years of childlessness".

© Reserved


Awhh Cindy; glad you made it back to school as we thought you were long gone to the underworld the girls spewed out.

This unequivocally confirmed Diva’s sixth sense. How right she was accurately discerning the adverse buzz going on about her daughter in college and the town where they lived.

It was a sizeable hit for the news network; Queen Ama had just done a terrific vox pop collating information from the town Cindy grew up.

Queen Ama's  vox pop!


Who do you blame when a married man explicitly denies responsibility for a child from a woman who is not his wife?



Innocent

who is not his wife? If the child is his,he should take responsibility.whether wife OR NO WIFE AND DEPENDS ON THE WOMAN.SOME SINGLE MOTHERS PLAY god .
Thursday at 5:49pm 


 
Arinola

Both parties are to blame. Why would you as a lady date a married man in the first place? A man who is deceiving the woman he married and made a covenant with to be with you? And you really feel a man like that will make a responsible, godly father to your child? You think you can 'take' him from his wife and be happy? You really think he will honour you? You must be joking! And why should a married man deliberately destroy his life and future by cheating on his family?

In any case, the deed has been done so they should both take responsibility for their actions. They should jointly take care of that child because he's just an innocent victim.
Thursday at 6:02pm ·



 
Ama

Yes another very innocent victim. How does he face his wife and children with such ground breaking news? How does the woman react to another woman who is likely to share in the inheritance she has worked hard to acquire for years? Does her husband marry the other woman because of the child? We are not too far from polygamy?
Thursday at 6:14pm



 
Grace

Women are at a disadvntgeous position in our society. Everyone would naturally blame the woman.
Thursday at 6:56pm



 
Ama

@Grace
Yes most people would blame the woman in a society where gender inequality is not seen as an injustice.

@Arinola,

What if the woman had just heard for the first time when she broke the good news of her pregnancy to the man that he was married?

Most men go about without their rings and lie about their marital status.
Thursday at 7:21pm



Arinola

Grace, that is why I advise people to never settle for less. It is unwise to subjugate your happiness for a pseudo-relationship, so to speak. Believe God for the best and you WILL get it. You can have whatever you believe. If you keep saying, 'all men are dogs, all women are liars and thieves', well your reality will NEVER be different from that for you will keep attracting such people into your life. God never said an enviable, happy married life is not possible. So why should I believe it is not? You either believe God's truth, or man-made lies. YOU WILL HAVE WHAT YOU SAY AND BELIEVE. Be watchful, for your life follows your words. Your life is your consciousness objectified! Don't build your life or expectations on the basis of what has happened to others. Yes, you can learn from them but you don't know why they are the way they are. And you are not the same as them. I tell you, YOU WILL HAVE WHAT YOU SAY.
Thursday at 7:10pm


 
Nosa

lol d woman who aint his wife lol
Thursday at 6:59pm




Arinola

Ama do you think it is possible for a real godly person to fall into such trap? Okay not trying to get too spiritual, but is it really possible for a lady full of discernment and God's leading to fall into the hands of a guy like that?

You said what if the woman found out after getting pregnant? That suggests she got pregnant out of wedlock. Now, would a person really walking with God fall into such? I doubt it!
Thursday at 7:38pm



Ama

Arinola is very possible, Samson fell into Delilah's trap. What another anointed man of GOD. How you restructure your life afterwards is that big comeback. I do not pray for anyone to be a victim of enchantment, charms, hexes and curses. It is terrible!
Thursday at 7:47pm


Here, is what took place between Mother and Daughter just "Behind the Scenes".

Diva her mum, softly taps Cindy fast asleep at an ungodly hour when most men expected to be at rest are freely roaming. Oh mum, but I am still sleeping she snapped. My daughter, how could you bring shame to the family in such manner? Cindy wide awake by now ready to provide answers for what she had done.

Mum, I am exceedingly sorry, and it just happened in a split second. Cindy so tell me this is not true. Mum, I saw a red stain on the bed linen. Then I knew I had not only just lost my virginity. Diva calmly reminding her daughter but I warned when you first saw your menstrual period.

I know one prefers to swallow whole food, especially when hungry. The only way you can enjoy this food now is closing that access point. Friends, the "food for thought" are not unreasonable.


  •  It is unlucky enough people are in trouble and trying to get out. Why make it worse, reminding one of their appalling conditions or spreading the word?
  •  The added pain from spreading such information and the process at which one does it is no different from killing a Man. The resultant effect is the stench coming forth from the cadaver.

  •  The moment one opens ones mouth to distribute other people’s shocking report, you are just as the Lion waiting to guzzle your next victim. One can not just shut up ones mouth until one gets its target whole.
 © Reserved
  •  The lion certainly looks better with the mouth closed.
 © Reserved
  • Mrs Whoopi disclosing such information in a sarcastic manner obviously did not lead her into any trouble. Perhaps Julian Assange of wikileaks has been charged for spying because he got paid for revealing shocking news and scandals. That information has not assisted in peace but rather led to the destruction of confidence. What is the essence? 
  • Many have been enslaved in burial ceremonies, but need to understand the proverb "let the dead bury the dead".
  •  Diva is a Queen and extraordinarily difficult to find mothers who will support their children in that fashion. Quite simply, she gave Cindy another chance to live without losing her dignity.
A Miracle Transformation.

Ho yeah Cindy has just discovered it. 
  • Who are your sisters? I mean real sisters ready to stay on the front-line and take bullets on your behalf; celebrating with you when happy, not afraid knowing your personality shines through ; not judgemental when you reveal your dirty secrets; appreciative of your animated and kind self. That is so right! Sister act is that shining light igniting a miracle transformation; and leading you to your destination knowing people truly love and want to see you at the top

    Happy Christmas in advance and a prosperous new year to all who have sowed into a man without destroying it this year 2010.

    Labels: "Who are Your Sisters?", " Wikileaks", "Miracle Transformation"

    Friday, 17 December 2010

    QUEEN AMA's FOOD FOR THOUGHT!: Queen AMA a Commentator today and not a Moderator!

    QUEEN AMA's FOOD FOR THOUGHT!: Queen AMA a Commentator todPublish Postay and not a Moderator!

    Thursday, 16 December 2010

    Queen AMA a Commentator today and not a Moderator!

     

    Wande Aguloye - (Moderator)
    7 out of 10 black women are single! A woman once married with kids and great income has a higher chance of getting remarried than a single woman with no kids over 30! If a woman is not married at 35 please have kids because ur chances of finding a husband and  you are his only wife are VERY SLIM! A man who loves you is worth 20 times more than a man you love! A woman who has 5 kids and yells infidelity should be taken to a psych ward!


    6 hours ago via BlackBerry ·4 people like this.




    Commentator 1
    Siti Abiola What exactly is d point here?So a mother of 5 cant condemn infidelity?My dear bro,expantiate abeg.....lolzzzz


    6 hours ago via Facebook Mobile · Like

    Moderator 




    ‎@Siti Lol If a woman of 5 condemns infidelity and gets a divorce who will remarry her?! I'm also saying her chances of getting remarried are as good if not better than a woman well past 30 with no kids who has never been married demanding to be a 1st wife!

    A man with no money and income but meets food at home and asks his wife if she is cheating on him should also be put in a psych ward if he has been in that poor state for 5 years plus with 4 kids by the same woman he is accusing!


    6 hours ago · Like · 1 person



    Commentator 2
    Agunloye Damilola Adetola  The major factor in Nig is unemployment. The unmarried females should be fervent in prayer so as 2 reduce this burden.A man that cant afford 3 square meals how do you expect hm 2 take a girl 2 the Altar.


    6 hours ago via Facebook Mobile · Like · 1 person

    Moderator 




    ‎@Aburo Exactly now at a later age when u get money most men go in 2 directions! 1. They marry a woman no more than 25 with no kids! Who does everything they say Or 2. They marry a woman once married who is FINANCIALLY ESTABLISHED with 1 or 2 kids! If she can't have kids then it opens up the opportunity to marry for the chance to have some!

    Most men take option 1 if they don't have kids! Those who are interested in financially security up to a certain level take option 2! As long as they are not over 40!


    6 hours ago · Like



    Commentator 3


    Wande I follow most of your political analysis but I must say your analysis on marriage is absolutely weak. Perhaps this is not an area for you to delve into. Do you think having children is the basis for marriage? Do you think money should be a basis for marriage?



    This should give you a well rounded view.

    Take care





    5 hours ago · Like

    Moderator 




    ‎@ Ama I WANT TO BRING U INTO THE MEN'S GROUP MEETING! DONT TALK SO THEY WONT KNOW A WOMAN IS PRESENT!
    1. Out of every 10 men 7 or more expect a child from the wedlock and without one they divorce! 2. Out of 10 men over 45 financial security is their highest priority! I have seen men tell me they are marrying this woman because she has a health plan! Or she owns a home! Or she owns a business!

    I have a lot of female friends who I have hooked up! They think about the same crap! MARRIAGE IS ANOTHER FORM OF SECURITY! IT IS ALSO FOR PROCREATION! There are women who would not bear a child for u till u marry them! I don't care if u gave them $250K cash! N THEY R 35 N OVER N WANT TO BE UR 1ST N ONLY WIFE! THEY WILL ABORT TILL U DO! So Ama please!


    5 hours ago · Like


    Commentator 4
    Siti Abiola Uhmmm,so pple like me have no chance ehn?I  have 5 kids& a grandchild, i dont want 2 remarry,tell me my chances abeg...lolzzzz


    5 hours ago via Facebook Mobile · Like



    Commentator 5
    Ibrahim Jimeta Ambulum WANDE YOU HAVE COME WITH AGAIN WITH NEW DIMENSION.HOWEVER YOU ARE RIGHT...

    5 hours ago · Like



    Commentator 1


    I have a sister(37yrs old) never been married, no kids & she's seriously looking 4 a husband. I told her 2 get pregnant & 4gt marriage unless she wants 2 settle 4 a married man or divorcee.
    This is of major concern 2 me cos she's very close 2 me(we are 1st cousins).She has school certificate,very pretty but on d big side, jobless like me,(lol) what are her chances of getting married?
    I already told her i'll be responsible 4 her baby if she gets pregnant, i do really care 4 her but i can't marry her,what can be done 2 help her?
    I am very serious o



    5 hours ago via Facebook Mobile · Like

    Moderator 




    ‎@ Siti focus on making the money to educate ur kids n provide for ur retirement! If u have a young boyfriend put him to work day n night for his pay n keep him on a tight leash but don't get jealous if he steals a few dollars to marry some 23 year old eventually! Or get a wealthy man n have him as a husband n co-invest but always keep the bulk of ur money separate! Basically work for him for a percentage while working ur assets privately!

    Under no circumstances should u be demanding to be a first wife unless he is broke with 5 kids n needs a place to stay! I think he is useless! In my personal opinion I would have the 23 year old for servicing n keep him in an apt somewhere n be a wife to a rich guy for financial reasons! Someone who has ur back!





    5 hours ago · Like · 1 person



    Commentator 2


    Wande, my voice is a very unique one which is heard often by those who have ears to listen.


    I have reviewed all your view points and still none of them should be a good basis for going into marriage.


    I see most of your male participants are Nigerians. Nigeria is a country where most are still struggling to get it right on the family level before we look at the society as a whole. Have you ever wondered why so many are struggling in the home front? Do you ever wonder why most marriages don't last? I don't care about what your male folks are saying to you? what is the proper thing to do? GOD gives security and not marriage, the best security anyone can have in life is peace.

    I find that so many who have gone in for security have come out with scars and they wonder why?

    Wande this is not a male political gathering. This is a topic that affects both male and female alike.

    I did encourage you and male folks to review their notion on why women go into marriage or why 2 people come together to become 1.

    Take care


    5 hours ago · Like


    Commentator 3
    Abiodun Ayileka ‎@wande...U seem to me a realist, simply fact.@ siti......if u are economically sound ! then u have no problem.


    5 hours ago · Like

    Moderator 


    Wande Agunloye ‎@ Siti she is done just stick a fork in her! Her chances of finding a husband and she is his only wife are almost zero! Also if he does not see kids he will think she can't carry a baby full term or he has to spend money to have that happen! If she has three children and complaining about fidelity.  If she is demanding to be a 1st wife send her to the psych ward!


    5 hours ago · Like · 1 person



    Commentator 2


    Siti how are you? I guess you are fine from the sound of your comment.


    Please let me encourage you to advice your sister to find her purpose in life. She should wait until she finds her husband. Desperation gets you nowhere but settling for less like having children deliberately out of wedlock than having them in a proper family set up.

    If your sister at 37 thinks she is fit to be a mother let her go to a motherless baby home and adopt a child and look after the child. If she does not get a husband before the year runs out let her look for me and kill me. That is how sure of what I am saying.

    I hope you understand?


    5 hours ago · Like

    Moderator 


    Wande Agunloye ‎@ Siti From that comment we need to ask AMA ARE U MARRIED?!


    5 hours ago · Like



    Commentator 4



    My dear bro...23yrs old? I will be sued 4 cradle snatching...lolzzz..
    3 of my kids are through school d last one 4 MKO is d only one left(my responsibility)as for the 5th one, his father is alive & responsible 4 him.
    I cant be involved with young guys, I just dont know how do it, what 4? Old, yes.very comfortable arrangement 4 me...lol
    if i do decide 2 remarry my bro, it will be 2 an old rich man with no plans 4 more kids, strictly 4 companionship.He can keep his money@least i have survived for 17yrs,


    5 hours ago via Facebook Mobile · Like

    Moderator 



    ‎@ Siti Hey different strokes for different folks! The boy has to be that young because over that age they are a nuisance n too much financial exposure! They think too much and if they are right should be dating u on their terms not yours!

    However I don't think u should go that old yet! A guy 40-50 who earns is ideal! U r still in the game n making some money!

    5 hours ago · Like



    Commentator 4



    Ama.....i don tire 4 laughter o...adopt?Will that add 2 her woes or reduce?Ur solution is far from reality...haba.
    We all cant be Mrs & neither can we all be mothers.Ds is a natural fact,we can only try but what will be will be.
    Her case is of great concern 2 me and i know if she is destined 2 be a mother she will be,who knows,Wande might end up becoming my in-law.....lolzzzz



    5 hours ago via Facebook Mobile · Like


    Commentator 5

    Ibrahim Jimeta Ambulum ‎@Ama Kachikwu Wandes political analysis are not very sincere, he is a very slippery character,contraversial,cantankerous and biased you are such a beautiful lady that I wouldnt want you to be taken away by WANDES POLITICAL IDEAS THAT ARE INCONSEQUENTIAL.POLITICALLY I BEG YOU AMA KACHIKWU TO STAY AWAY FROM WANDE BEFORE HE INFECTS YOU WITH SENTIMENTS AND HATRED.MY ADVICE TO YOU IS PURELY ON HUMANATRIAN GRONNDS.


    5 hours ago · Like



    Commentator 2



    Wande have you ever occupied any political post in Africa? Do you know what it feels like being in power and not what you read about or see? However some of us follow your political commentaries on a daily basis. What does my marital status have to do with understanding a topic which any dumb man or woman can understand?

    You are not doing too well with this subject and making it rather personal. It is a broad one and affects so many in various ways.


    5 hours ago · Like

    Moderator 


    Wande Agunloye ‎@ Ibrahim Lmao! My brother u will never marry a woman above 25! U play for keeps! Lmao!


    5 hours ago · Like



    Commentator 4

    Siti Abiola Wande,60 upwards is ideal 4 me o.Absolutely no stress....40-50...2 young 4 me...lol


    5 hours ago via Facebook Mobile · Like



    Commentator 2



    Mr Ibrahim, I try not to get caught up in a baseless theory with no grounds and true fulfilling purpose to back it up. I throw open the floor for controversial debates affecting human beings in every area of their lives.


    I did invite you over to the other side of the Atlantic. http:queenamafoodforthought.blogspot.com.

    Have a read through. I cover every topic be it Inspirational, Political , Social or Spiritual.

    Thanks for your complement as I get them every day and thank GOD.

    4 hours ago · Like



    Commentator 5

    Ibrahim Jimeta Ambulum ‎@AMA KACHIKWU i know this fellow you ARE dealing with, he is a VIRUS.If WANDE SHOULD OCCUPY ANY POLITICAL POST IN AFRICA THEN I TELL YOU AMA KACHIKWU WANDE WILL INVITE WAR TO NIGERIA.

    4 hours ago · Like

    Moderator 




    ‎@ Ama Marriage is a different animal? A woman who has never been married uses ideals, dreams, hopes, love as her yard stick! A woman who has been married uses financial security, respect, consistency, romance kids etc as her yard stick! In other words once u have been married your views whatever they are will change!

    As far as politics its about people and being a business man its part of my job to socialize with politicians n study human nature! I'm a developer n I fight in court, persuade politicians and the people affected by whatever I'm trying to develop! I notice that everyone always sees it from their point of view! However you are trying to get another human being with a different point of view to work with u! If u tell him kids n financial security are not important he will run away from you especially if he is over 35 yrs old!


    4 hours ago · Like

    Moderator 


    Wande Agunloye ‎@ Siti 60 is cruise control! Lol! U don't want to work for a man u simply want to let him eat and sleep! Lol! Anyway there are still some vigorous 60 year olds out there!


    4 hours ago · Like · 1 person

    Moderator 




    ‎@ Ama Women out number men and since the men are expected to head their households and carry on their family name they focus on finances n kids! Every young man is told that is his yard of success! So to get a husband u need to know your audience and its not u! Its him! U have to get him! Now should u want love sure but romance is better because u want to feel what he genuinely may want to express! However its like a ship n a rudder! The man is the ship n the woman is the rudder! She determines the direction he will go if she is sexy enough to do it! She must speak his love language! Many men don't know theirs but they all have one! Once u know n fit the bill u can make him do silly things for u! Then he will marry u!


    4 hours ago · Like



    Commentator 2



    Wande again, You are not getting it . Being married is not a yardstick for ascertaining what is the norm for going into marriage. You should direct this question to a Man who has a made a mistake before in his marriage, completely burnt out and genuinely seeking redress. I tell you with every strength I can muster that Man would not use those barometers highlighted above to getting another wife. Unless his looking for an early death.

    A woman can be respected regardless of a husband. Take out your husband's identity and who are you? If you cannot answer those questions as a married woman then you are not doing too well.

    Watch Michelle Obama and you will see she has an Identity and personality outside of Barrack Obama. Most married women are yet to adopt that in their lives. They are simply undermining their confidence because they believe marriage is a social image which rules them.

    Coming back to ones lack of experience because one is not married or has never being married, would you say you are not in a good position to comment politically on what is going on in Nigeria. We have never tried you with power to see how you will behave.

    Those men in power in Africa where Men whom were once like you and I, but a different product in their lives called power has completely altered their images and personality. However does that stop you and I from advocating what should be in this regard even though we are yet to seat in Aso Rock?

    Wande, money, children are by products of marriage. I find those women who have grown up with their husband, loving and respecting them against all odds did do a good job of looking after their children and pointing them in the right direction, putting that money into good use. It is no surprise you hear behind every successful Man is a Woman.

    I still enjoy your political commentaries as very deep and incisive even though you are yet to seat in Aso Rock. Keep It up and join our debate on Saturday Morning.

    4 hours ago · Like

    Moderator 




    ‎@ Ama 1. Marriage defining a woman's idea of personal success is a disease only suffered by woman who have never been married! How many woman who have been married make that their priority? What they do say is IF I AM TO REMARRY THERE MUST BE PRACTICAL GOALS I M TRYING TO ACHIEVE!

    2. Power is unrelated to what we r discussing! Politics is a social science! It tracks the consistency in human behavior when exposed to stimuli regarding how they choose to be governed! Business is also a social science! THEY R THEREFORE  RELATED! What a man does once elected is more of an exclusive product of his character, experience n knowledge at that point n far less about our ability to force him to do what we want him to do at that point till he comes for re-election! Let's stay on the topic!


    4 hours ago · Like

    Moderator 




    ‎@ Ama women want security and they want a husband to procreate, have sex, romance etc n telling them that its not important to them or should not be as important is not marketable! That's what lesbians tell them!


    What u should talk about is what goals r they trying to accomplish n what r their priorities as opposed to what they should be! Personal achievement is that woman's personal business n has nothing to do with meeting their husbands needs or vice versa!

    In case u haven't noticed NO ONE WOULD TREAT MICHELLE OBAMA THEY WAY THEY PRESENTLY DO IF HER HUSBAND WAS NOT RULER OF THE FREE WORLD! Now let's take Oprah as a case study! Many women would not mind having 10% of her wealth n have kids as well!


    4 hours ago · Like


    Commentator 2



    Wade,


    Marriage, Power and Business are social sciences and influenced by human behaviour and social norms. Consistent behaviour, principles and ethics showcased by individuals in these realm are all yardsticks for broaching problems experienced by those people in those fields.

    Power and Marriage can be used interchangeably. You exert power in your marriage as a Man likewise as a woman, even children too exert power in marriage within the family circle. Power is a very broad topic as well and it depends on what type of power you are talking about.

    Coming back to the disease inherent in single women or women who have never being married before linking success to marriage makes me laugh so hard.

    You know why women who have been married make such shallow requirements a basis for marriage because they seem to have missed the way. How do they start all over again without loosing out so much? That line of argument is for a woman who is not in Christ and could base love on monetary requirements. I did like to hear stuff like compatibility, similar interest and perseverance.

    Looking around at women who have not made a success with their marriages gives a single woman or a woman who has never being married a unique disease to suffer from which is "wait, open you eyes, leap when just right and guard your life jealously".

    Wande this definitely answers all your question. I will not go any further with this discussion. Read through my comments again as very deep and always led by the spirit when I write. You can tell?


    3 hours ago · Like



    Commentator 2



    Siti my comment shows we cannot all be mothers with children in a proper family set up. However if a woman is so desperate to have children out of wedlock let her go and adopt a child. Those are by products you can test so easily without buying the machine for making them as yet. Heavy Investments are required to get such equipments should you want to make them yourself. The good news one can get those by products without having to invest personally on the equipments.

    My solution is so practical and the culture in Africa does not put women in a position to truly be themselves. I Feel so sorry and angry at the same time. I am sure your sister is more under pressure from people asking her why is she not married at 37 than the inner drive to get married.


    3 hours ago · Like · 1 person

    Moderator 




    ‎@ Ama 1. If u believe exercising power in a marriage is what those in a marriage should routinely do then u will always have a failed marriage congested with abuse! 2. Power has nothing to do with this topic! Successful marriages are partnerships focused less on what u want to get but how much u r willing to serve ur partner! What u want to get is what u have determined before getting married! HOWEVER U STILL HAVE TO MOTIVATE UR PARTNER TO GIVE U WANT U KNOW THEY HAVE! U DO THAT BY GIVING THEM WHAT U HAVE CORRECTLY DIAGNOSED THEY NEED!

    If a woman's needs r meet she will be ur doormat n vice versa for men! U talk sweet, treat her with respect n let her feel the way she wants to feel n not do a power play N VICE VERSA! Men need marriages too NOT JUST WOMEN! That person u r married to has publicly said this person is whom I'm working with! Whether its 1 person or several!


    3 hours ago · Like · 1 person



    Commentator 4
    Siti Abiola i prefer cruise control 2 stick shift...lol


    3 hours ago · Like



    Commentator 2
    Ama Kachikwu Siti instead of a woman who has respect for herself to destroy another Mans' home because she wants to have children out of wedlock is it not better to adopt and have respect for yourself. Worst still is hooking up with a single man who is in the position to marry you because his single but does not oblige you that removal of his freedom. Furthermore gets you pregnant but refuses to marry you showing the world your inability to be married properly. KAI! may GOD not let us experience this Amen.


    3 hours ago · Like



    Commentator 2
    Ama Kachikwu I enjoyed this but please let us learn from this. Wande good job!


    3 hours ago · Like

    Moderator 


    Wande Agunloye ‎@ Siti I love cruise control because u can enjoy the ride! U can bask in the comfort! Lol enjoy the numerous features but a lot of times I will drive a sports car! For the handling! I do like a bit of calculated gambling! That's why I go to vegas! Lol for the casinos!


    3 hours ago · Like · 1 person



    Commentator 2
    Ama Kachikwu @Wande a woman who is able to exercise her femininity to get what she wants in her marriage understands the good use of power and what it involves. Power play is not the whole essence of power but how you use it and how it affects those who are influenced by it. Of course the ultimate result should be positive in marriage.


    3 hours ago · Like



    Commentator 4

    Ama,what is wrong in having a kid without marriage?will she wait 4 life b4 she has kids?Destroying a home?How?Adoption is like comparing sleep with death,when u adopt u av actually given up hope of having ur own kids,i av nothing against adoption bt,any woman that tells u she is happy with adoption is obviously lying.No woman wants 2 be called barren&moreover,our culture is totally different frm "oyinbo"culture.
    We all desire 2 have our own,those we can call ours&it is only when that option sms nt feasible that we resort 2 adoption.I have friends who av adopted bt if they discover they r pregnant 2day,they will be d happiest pple on earth.
    Regarding ur premise that having a child out of wedlock is tantamount 2 destroying a home,i beg 2 differ.We all r looking 4 our personal comforts&if someone else has 2 bear d brunt so be it.She should hold on 2 her husband tightly@least no one forced her man 2 indulge in extra marital affairs.
    So when a man uses&dumps u 4 hs home it is fair?No madam,so many ladies r out there with no hope of getting married y on earth would they want 2 think abt a woman whose husband is adding 2 their probs?
    It is easier said than done.If my sis gts pregnant 2day i will be 2 happy 2 shoulder d responsibility of raising that child,who cares whether d man accepts or nt bt one thing i know is d child will never lack.In actual fact,d man will accept responsibility.Who nds marriage?





    3 hours ago · Like

    Moderator 




    ‎@ Ama that is abuse! It won't last long! Marriage is a partnership! The strongest partnerships go thru very good times n bad so u must be there n sacrifice when it is bad n invest in ur partner when it is good to weather the next obstacle! If I did power plays on a woman when I have it good she will step on me when she has the upper hand when things r bad!

    That is why observing n qualifying ur partner properly is extremely important! Their temperament, how they treat people who have nothing to give in return! Once u have a charitable, hard working easy going person who is intelligent n knows how to make his or her partner feel with some sex appeal! JACKPOT! U will r more likely to survive what life throws at u!



    3 hours ago · Like



    Commentator 4
    Siti Abiola Wande plssssss....dont corrupt me o...handling...uhmmmmm...wow!
    lol


    3 hours ago · Like



    Commentator 2


    Wande,


    My final word, Michelle Obama is not treated that way because her husband is the president of a free world. Poeple also respect Oprah Winfrey and Condoliza rice as well . Michelle has demonstrated the ability to keep a home, manage a home, maintain her identity as well as her husbands and reach a mutual goal. No wonder they demonstrate friendship, happiness and success.

    Sex is good and a means to procreate. However, you will see women who lie to their husband that place is not right today so we cannot do it tonight. They just don't enjoy sex with the man or the man does not enjoy sex with them. Vice-Versa. Then you see such man running out to a desperate woman who wants to have a child out of wedlock. or the woman running to a single man who wants wealth overnight and needs cash.

    When that quickie takes place and a child is involved the man starts crying I have a wife. You wonder if people don't truly relish their freedom and space and just getting married for social reasons.

    These points are more than enough to write a book.

    Bye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





    3 hours ago · Like · 1 person

    Moderator




    ‎@ Siti my dear u hit the nail on the head! That means u value ur children n see them as a valuable product of the union! What people don't focus on is the reason marriage is important! 1. When u r married the govt gives u legal protection such as child support or family support in naija! 2. In a divorce the suppose can get spousal support! However if u have a good hearted hard working prosperous spouse who can satisfy ur physical desires U DONT NEED SOCIETY TO PROTECT U BECAUSE HE OR SHE WONT HURT U! THEY CAN ONLY BLESS U! When u have met their type u standards increase! In fact spouses that look good to others can't keep 5 minutes of ur time!

    2 hours ago · Like



    Commentator 2


    Siti a woman who adopts a child is not a barren woman and has not given up hope on having a child or getting married. It is a very shallow way of thinking. It is very deep to adopt when you can and only ushering in a child of your own. People who are happily married adopt children how much more people who are single.

    It makes you responsible and preparing you for a by-product which you believe you can also make on your own. Siti please make your sister no go break another man home. If she refuses to do she will not get pregnant for a married man. They will blame her and not a man who already has his security documented in a sealed agreement and signed off by others.

    Unless that Man lies he is not married like most do to get a fresh single woman. To protect yourself no sex before marriage. If you use that as yardstick he will run away if he is not there for love.





    2 hours ago · Like



    Commentator 4
    Siti Abiola lolzzzz...will ask my daughter 2 contact u.she is an advocate of no sex b4 marriage bt hw will that work on a 37yr old lady?


    2 hours ago · Like



    Commentator 6
    Jokotade Agunloye Greenberg That's my brother ladies. Hold back your adoration


    2 hours ago · Like



    Commentator 2
    Ama Kachikwu Siti please feel free. If a 37 year old woman can go to work and her boss shouts her down and she takes the insult all because of fulfilment and money. Then she can close those legs and respect her womanhood. Unless she is under the influence of charm which people use nowadays to get woman. The blood of Jesus cannot be overemphasized in that regard.


    2 hours ago · Like

    Moderator




    ‎@ Ama If 2 people r in bed n don't want to have sex its their fault not their partners! If a person is as sweet as they claim that partner will look for ways to kill u with sex! In fact u will tell them to get someone on the side sef! I have seen men tell a woman what they can do or not do with the boyfriend sef! Oprah n Rice made it without spouses! M Obama did not!

    Also having a child is a way to forever enshrine their love for one another n not these oyinbo standards Siti was talking about! People have multiple relationships because they r into who they r having it with not because there is something wrong with who they r already with! The Oyinbos themselves in increasing numbers r co habiting without marriage n in their countries the divorce rate is 50% within the 1st 3yrs! So is their system better than the davids n jacobs of the koran n bible?!





    2 hours ago · Like



    Commentator 4
    Siti Abiola Dont worry,he is safe with me....


    2 hours ago · Like



    Commentator 2
    Ama Kachikwu Siti your daughter can email me on ama.kachikwu@giamediaservicesltd.com. Bye for now as need to go.
    Share my blog with her as well.


    2 hours ago · Like

    Moderator




    ‎@ Siti Lol tell Ama O! Lol! No sex before marriage! Lol! @ Ama look what Siti said is most people even though the love the child they have adopted will still be happy with their own! Finish! As far as breaking up home or no home! That is an oyinbo concept! They do it even with people of the same sex outside of marriage but when no one knows about it the spouse is as happy as can be abi?!
    So was the spouse an idiot when they didn't know?

    In our culture when they do did the system break down! When they were doing it in the bible did GOD say they were cursed! Or r the muslim women who r 1 of 4 substandard?!





    about an hour ago · Like



    Commentator 2


    Please guys get the information right and understanding. This has nothing to do with oyibo style. Muslim woman who are 3rd and 4th wives get married in the proper way and get people to witness the event. There is nothing wrong with adopting a child and waiting to get yours enshrined with the proper man.

    Please have a re-read as there is nothing Siti wants to tell me that the spirit has not taught me yet. You do not have to be married to understand all these. If a woman who has never been married wants to venture into marriage let her do it the proper way as I do not care what your age is. I am not condemning anyone who finds it difficult to exercise restrain and do things properly. I can only ask for GOD's grace and mercy in their lives.

    Take care as final final word for everyone.





    about an hour ago · Like

    Moderator



    I think its crazy to say stay celibate n then say u r dealing on the same standard as a man because I can assure u he is not celibate? N who is willing to wait on ur celibacy before marriage? LOL That's the problem all these women have! They r focus SOLELY ON WHAT THEY EXPECT OUT OF THE MARRIAGE N NOT THEIR SPOUSE'S NEEDS!

    A marriage is just a relationship with enshrined LEGAL RIGHTS OR BENEFITS PROTECTED BY LAW!



    about an hour ago · Like

    Moderator




    ‎@ Ama If u believe a woman married under muslim rights as a 2nd or 3rd wife is protected! Then GOOD the man does not have to divorce the 1st to marry the 2nd wife! Therefore if ur over 30 n single don't worry about his 1st wife worry about...See More

    about an hour ago · Like



    Commentator 4


    lol.....4 smone who hs never tasted sex,marriage b4 sex might work bt 4 smone wey don dey enjoy d thing,e get as e be....lol
    Adopting 2 usher in ur own child sounds selfish bcos u r nt doing it out of love bt 4 ur own ultimate desire.There is unquantifiable joy in having ur own fruit of d womb bt when that does nt happen u cn go 4 adoption as consolation.4 those with kids who adopt other kids,that is a sign of truly loving ur neighbours&i commend them 4 their show of love.That is a different thing altogether,i can and actually plan on adopting 2 kids which 2 me is just my own way of reaching out 2 those in need,period.
    Wande,u don cause wahala o....lol


    about an hour ago · Like

    Moderator




    ‎@Siti Lol Don't mind them! As u get older do they think they will think the same way they did when they were younger! Grown people are grown people n they do what suits them! Imagine a man running to tell his friends he has been married 25 years n his wife cheated on him?! The men may give him their card n tell him to tell her to call them! Lol!

    They have not seen the wife visiting the girlfriend at the hospital n being good friends! They r fighting like cats n dogs about he must be solely for them! Why don't they fight over his debts if he goes bankrupt! Or fight over him if he becomes handicap or impotent GOD forbid! They better get themselves together! Romance, financial security n train some kids they will be proud of n get some cruise control! I just like my own with that sports car with a manuel transmission! Lol! Feel me!

    about an hour ago · Like



    Commentator 2


    Siti I still do not agree with you. It is like saying a Man has to be rich before he can extend help or assist another man in need of money.


    You can adopt children not because of an ultimate desire to have children. Most women who have gone into marriage with an ultimate desire to have children are miserable and later find out there are other more important things as well.

    We should all learn to be charitable regardless of ones circumstance.

    Being married is not a yardstick for happiness. It is not a yardstick for success. There is no marriage in heaven. I have watched so many women in Nigeria loose their lives because of marriage, looking miserable and haggard. Yet when such woman sees a young beautiful single woman she is so afraid and has no confidence in herself thinking her husband could leave her for a younger aspiring woman who knows how to hold her own.

    Siti please let us make true sense out of this completely leaving culture out of it. It has nothing to do with oyibo. What if your sister has been married all this years and cannot have a child at 37?


    57 minutes ago · Like

    Moderator




    ‎@ Ama what if she had a child out of wedlock n was happy must she adopt anyone else's standards! Look 7 out of 10 r single because there r not enough GOOD MEN TO GO ROUND! If some women r willing to marry a man who is married what is any other woman's beef! If they want cobwebs to grow in their own for lack of use so be it!

    Some r lesbians others gay do we attack them on the street n say Y NOW?! NO! SO I WILL MAKE MY OWN PERSONAL HAPPINESS DEPENDENT ON ANOTHER?! GOD FOR BID! Look that is equality ladies WELCOME TO A MAN'S WORLD! EVERYONE HAS THE RIGHT TO DO THEIR OWN THE WAY THEY SEE FIT N THE KORAN N BIBLE BOTH HAVE NOT SENT A MAN TO JAIL FOR 2 WIVES! OR A WOMAN WHO BELIEVES IN GOD WILL GO TO HELL SOLELY FOR HAVING A CHILD FOR SOMEONE WHO IS MARRIED!


    45 minutes ago · Like


    Commentator 2


    Wande, Go and read my last point to siti and stop debating from your head. Nobody is condemning any woman for being a 3rd wife. She is a wife even as a 3rd wife. Poeple make mistake and have children out of wedlock. Some do it intentionallyand I really do feel sorry for those who go that route.

    Wande nobody has said having children out of wedlock makes you less happy.

    I still maintain if a woman is so desperate and cannot hold her own any more but desperately in need of a child let her go an adopt a child rather than getting pregnant for any man just to have her own child. That is so selfish and wicked both to the Man and to her child.

    Please be logical in you reasoning.

    The debate is getting rather irksome and not learning from it.

    What is your final conclusion? Your status update. I can't help you any more.


    27 minutes ago · Like

    Moderator




    ‎@ Ama Marriage is a relationship with legal protections! Period! Some women need to even be protected from the men they ended up marrying! LOL Why? Because the man brought no added value! Will I tell that woman to get married have a child n loss half her fortune because she had to have the child under wedlock! Is that not what killed Christina Onasis?! Then the husband took the money n married someone else! Have men not killed their rich wives they just married for money?

    Look we have heard u arguments Ama! SOME PEOPLE WANT TO HAVE THEIR OWN N DONT FEEL THEY SHOULD ADOPT WHEN THEY CAN HAVE THEIRS JUST BECAUSE THEY R NOT MARRIED! DONT FEEL SORRY FOR THEM! THEY WILL NOT BE SORRY FOR ANY WOMAN AT 50 RUNNING TO ADOPT BECAUSE OF ALL THE ABORTIONS SHE DID ALL ALONG THE WAY TO AVOID ONE OUT OF SO CALLED WEDLOCK!

    16 minutes ago · Like

    Connect with me and Like my page on Facebook.